Since I was 8 years old I have had an unhealthy relationship with most doctors. My first bad memory was being told at 8 that I would die within a few years if I did not lose weight. From that point on it seems nearly every doctor I saw would bring up my weight, how it will affect me and that I should change. Never was I asked if I wanted to lose weight, nor was I tested to see if I was healthy even though I was obviously overweight. Whenever I saw a doctor for whatever reason - even tonsillitis, the subject of my weight became the main topic of discussion. The thought of seeing doctors would make me recoil. So much so I would try not to see doctors if I could help it.
At the age of 8 I was sent to see a specialist. He did nothing to actually help me, he just took my pulse in different parts of my body, measured me and told me to go. It was an odd meeting, to this day I have no idea what its purpose was.
I was put on various diets and consequently rarely ate what the other children did. I always felt the odd one out for various reasons, but it was most apparent when sat with other children and them asking why I did not have the same food as they all did. I did try to lose weight, although it still baffled me why I wasn't considered just one of the children. I was always a 'special case'.
Then at 20 years old it was suggested I see someone about weight loss surgery. At the time it was new to the UK, but I was told the results were promising. So with the chance of being normal on offer, I went to see him. The appointment was a disaster, My mother and I sat and listened to the surgeon who told me that I would never be able to eat solid food again. Then his phone rang so he answered it and drifted off into an unrelated conversation. It was as though we weren't even there - we seemed nothing more than an inconvenience to him. I left the meeting feeling deflated - the thought of never being able to eat anything but puree for the rest of my life was scary.
As time went on I gained more weight and knew I had to do something, I tried various diets and carried out more research into weight loss surgery. I eventually asked to see someone else about the subject.
I saw a team in Birmingham - the first meeting was positive, they said they could help me, I knew my facts now and knew what I wanted. I was sent away and told I'd hear from them within 8 weeks and that I should try to lose some weight in the meantime.
I put my heart and soul into those 8 weeks, but I heard nothing from them. I was calling them every few days and asked my GP to try to contact them, 8 weeks turned into 8 months. By this time I had given up on the diet, I comfort ate again. Then one day, over 12 months later I received a letter asking me to attend an appointment the following week. I was so happy to get the appointment that I didn't even think about whether I had put on weight.
As it turns out I had indeed gained weight and once again the appointment was a nightmare. The bariatric surgeon told me it was 'disgusting' that I'd gained weight and also suggested I was lying when I said I hadn't heard from them for so long. At that moment I knew for sure I didn't want to be opened up and operated upon by a person who thought so little of me.
As time went on I moved house and got married. I was now living in a new area and made enquiries with my new local NHS trust, At my first appointment I was told that I'd be considered for surgery only after having lost 14 stone on my own. It goes without saying that if I were capable of losing 14 stone by diet and exercise alone, then I wouldn't need surgery at all! The NHS' Patient's Charter states that the patient has the right to request they see any suitable health professional and at any venue. With this in mind I contacted my NHS Trust and asked to see a particular consultant at a particular hospital - he had a fine reputation for dealing effectively with the very problems I presented. For reasons known only to themselves, my NHS Trust refused to transfer me, despite my iteration of The Patient's Charter and NICE guidelines (which state that in instances such as mine, immediate surgery is the preferred option).
Over the years I've been lucky enough to meet and interact with many good nurses and doctors, but their hard work and caring nature was overshadowed by the attitude of the few who I felt were intent on not helping me.
I have heard many stories from other plus size people of similar things happening to them. Why is the issue of weight always the subject of discussion at appointments, even when it's nothing to do with the reason you're there? Why do some assume that all fat people are unfit and eat rubbish all day, Honestly this is normally far from the truth. I know a lot of overweight people who are a lot fitter and eat much healthier food than some slim people I know. Is 'fat' really the worst thing a person can be? I hope one day things will change.
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